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Roses are More Than Red

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It was only 4 years ago I got a glimpse of what it might look like to run into heavens gates. I was by her side walking in between life and death. In her very last breath I said in Thai "If you hear the Lord calling your name, He knows your name, run to him. You will forever be surrounded by fields of roses." And in her very last breath I played her this song by Phil Wicham.


"I see Your face in every sunrise. The colors of the morning are inside Your eyes. The world awakens in the light of the day. I look up to the sky and say, You're beautiful...When we arrive at eternity's shore. Where death is just a memory and tears are no more. We'll enter in as the wedding bells ring. Your bride will come together and we'll sing You're beautiful!


I think roses will forever be in my memory and my legacy. Tho it was a short visit with my family to commemorate my grandma, my mom was smiling in this rose garden at the foothills of where we laid her to rest. This w…

Thorns, Bruises, and Pierces

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How have you described your most recent season to the newest person in your life?   I remember about three months ago, I told someone that i have come to unconsciously care about a lot that I just exited probably the most painful season of my life.  Therefore a lot of feelings and a lot of things that I am experiencing now are new again.  
I'm not going to lie, for me this year post painful season has been either really happy or really sad.  In a whirlwind of things many things came back to how I relate to those around me.  I can't help but think about how much my emotions control my choices, perspectives, and perception in life.  
Sometimes it sucks to be such a deep thinker.  Thoughts rush in, I consider..."Seriously, how many things can you think in a second, a minute, a moment?"  Then there are those times I have nothing going on, I'm numb, and my eyes are just like a double sided viewing mirror.  But then again there are highlighted things that stand out.  T…

These are the Times....

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My Facebook is painted with rainbow hearts, profile pictures, and flags. #LoveWins 
My Facebook is also marked with comments and criticism about racism, hate crimes #BlackLivesMatter
As I am in a transformational urban leadership graduate program focused on Micah 6:8 love kindness and mercy, seek out justice, and walk humbly with the Lord....I am having a really hard time digesting current events.  I think about what I would say when people ask me about my thoughts and opinions on same sex marriage and the hate crimes against African Americans.  

All I keep seeing in my head are the similar patterns of worldly thinking, I can't conform, not because the Bible says so in Romans 12:1-2, but its because I really can't see clearly in how divided I see my Facebook friends and news article and other media voices portray the times.  It's not even grey areas anymore.  It's rainbow areas...it all has to look like happiness and bright victory.  I can't function in the cover up…

Anxiety and Adventure

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I spent some time praying this morning....and I had a personal vision like dream as i laid in bed talking to God about some of my thoughts.  I was in the green tranquil woods... lots of trees.  And it seemed as if i was looking for something.  It was a lost item and as I was searching for it I was so adamant that I would find it and that I would get to it no matter what others said.  All I had to do was keep searching.  

There were no specific directions; I just knew I had to keep searching for that one item that God would show me. The woods were so clear with light, the air clean and fresh, no bugs or spiders, and the trees glisten with sun beaming in-between the leaves....I was at a place of rest in constant search, but as I keep looking and had no direction.....others calling me back home, to stop searching...to give up...I would gain more and  more anxiousness.  Finally after two hours of searching I found it.  In my dream I didn't even know what i was looking for, I just keep…

10 Day Vacation!!!!

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That is after.....
1) Admitting that I can't do it all
2) Saying no to a mural project because I wasn't really at a place of rest nor solid emotional soundness to lead a community project, even though I really really wanted to.
3) Starting the detangling process from experiences such as rejection, acceptance, and coming face to face with my personality's basic needs.
4) Submitting a 51 page application for my thesis project to Azusa Pacific University's Institution Review Board.
5) Partnering and consulting with City Lights Coffee Shop for their Marketing Development
6) Finishing 50 hours (within 3.5 weeks) of internship hours with the Bangkok School for the Blind
7) Taking on some responsibilities with the kids in my apartment compound
8) Reading Reading and more reading for course work
9) 3 classes in which each had 4 projects each
10) And commuting daily through a very congested and polluted city.

It was nice to catch some fresh air....

The Sojourner

Just pondering these days what the Good Samaritan did for the robbed traveler on the side of the road.  I have been personally pondering how to be loving to EVERYONE.  Not just those that I personally know or are in my inner rim of relationships.  I had a few occurrences in the last few months helping travelers here in Thailand that have been mugged and robbed by motorbike gangsters.  The stories are quite unreal and tragic, yet the Lord allowed my neighbor, my teammate, and I to be people of love to these travelers.  I look back and I see the lessons that the Lord taught me through the Word and through faith in action.

Serving others....especially strange travelers....we can always over analyze and make judgment calls. Really...in a sense the Lord wants us to love mercy, do justly, and walk humbly with him.  (Micah 6:8).  In the last few months all I can think about as I am in constant adaptation and stress, I remind myself that my joy comes from worshipping Him first.  EVERY BREATH…

Street Corner Wontons

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Back in August I had some time away from my grad studies and asked if my neighbor would like to learn how to make potstickers. We set some time aside and I asked her if we could cook at her house.  
I never imagined that my kitchen would be curbside!!! The coolest thing about having a curbside kitchen is the robust flavors that come from charcoal and natural fire.  It is also awesome to learn the versatility of Thai charcoal pits and the amount of heat from the small pit.  
In our intention to make potstickers, it actually turned into steamed wontons!  (Who knew you could steam wontons!!)  I was shopping around and was not able to find round thicker potsticker wrappers and ended up purchasing thinner wonton wrappers.  The recipe is below.

Street Corner Wontonsfresh ingredients
1-1.5lbs. of ground pork or chicken 3-4 stalks of green onions 2 garlic cloves (finely minced) 1 tsp. of minced ginger 1/2 a head of cabbage 1 pkg. of wonton or potsticker wrappers
unmeasured wet ingredients a ge…